So today... I was afraid that I had just had another MISCARRIAGE... ugh... how I hate that word/action..... Ive had one other miscarriage in my life... it was last year, apparently the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks... (and I thought I was 13 weeks already)
Hearing your doctor confirm that you had a miscarriage is HORRIBLE... I remember it hurts so much (emotionally) since I had already began to plan the future... I had even had a dream that that little baby was going to be a lil girl... I was sooo excited... up until that day that I found out... that I had lost it....
This all started a few days before... I remember going to the restroom, and well I was a lil constipated... but really needed to go #2... so I pushed and pushed till it all came out... but when I went to wipe myself, I noticed blood on the toilet paper... It was a really really small amount.. so I tried not to worry... I believe about 2-3 more days passed by and I was experiencing the same thing once again every single day... but once again... I tried not to worry.. anyways I was going to have my appt with my doctor in a few days....
So that day I went to my doctor, and she tried to hear the baby heartbeat... and nothing.... so she took me to her ultrasound room... and the baby wasn't moving.. and she couldn't hear anything.... so she sent me to the hospital to have a sonogram... but by that time I knew what was going on... I was crying... Nd crying and crying.... I am so thank full that I had my husband by my side thru it all... because after that we went back to my doctors, where she confirmed what I knew... I had just miscarried... and we were going to have to do a D&C to have the baby removed....
I know I keep on calling it a baby, and maybe at that time its not really considered a baby... but when you REALLY really want to have that baby... and already made plans for that baby... then you cant help yourself and call it a baby... a lil human being...
I always say that if you haven't gone thru it, you will never know the extent of emotional pain that you feel... I was emotionally distraught for a few days... till I decided not to think of it... I told my husband to let people know that I was no longer pregnant (while I was not around)... I didn't want to have people reminding me every minute of every day of what I had just gone thru... I guess this was my way of healing... BUT its not a way that I recommend... I do HONESTLY feel that you should give yourself time to grieve... whether its by yourself, or surrounded with friends.. I do suggest you do that...
...............
So today I had started bleeding a lil bit once again.... and I couldn't feel the baby move (for the past week Ive been feeling the baby move) so i did everything that i could think of to make the baby move.... till about 1 hr later... I FELT IT MOVE.... you have no idea what relief that is... it made everything soooo much better... I was so comforted... I didn't want to scare my husband by letting him know what was going on till I confirmed for myself that I wasn't feeling the baby move... but I do have a ultrasound early Tuesday Morning... so I am looking forward to that ultrasound.....
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
.....My First child....
Hello Beautiful Mammazz!
I still remember the day that I found out I was pregnant... I remember not being able to get out of bed, feeling sooooo EXHAUSTED! I ended up sleeping in that day till past 12pm... when I woke up, I had a feeling that the reason that I was feeling like that was because I was pregnant... but of coarse I wanted to confirm first before telling my fiancee that we were expecting our first child...
Since I was only 20 years old, and live in a small town, I didn't want to go to any of the mom and pop stores here and buy a pregnancy test... so I went to the nearest big city, and went to the Walmart there (they had self check-out lanes) so that no one would see what I was purchasing.... I was sooooo nervous.... So I finally got home and still feeling way to nervous to even take the test... so what did I do? I waited 2 days before I took it...
I finally took it on Sunday Morning... I woke up at around 8am to take it, and I just left it on the counter, and went back to sleep.... When I woke up again at around 10am, I saw, what in my heart already knew... TWO PINK LINES.... but I doubted that it was correct... so I took yet another test... and this time only waited the 3 minutes to find out the result... but I didn't have to wait that long... before I even put the test down, I could see that second line developing.....
Now the hardest part... to tell my fiancee that we were expecting....
That weekend he was out with his friends at a bachelor party... (I trust him :)) and well he was supposed to be back till late Monday night.... but I couldn't wait another day to tell him... so that Sunday night... I gave him a call and I let him know... HE COULD NOT BELIEVE IT... he was sooo happy that he was gonna be a DAD (he is 14 years older than me.. never been married.. and having his first child) ...
I was hoping I could have done it a little bit better (giving him the big news) but I just couldn't keep that from him any longer.... :)
So when he got back we went to a doctor to get it confirmed (once again) that I was pregnant.... and of coarse I was....
There I scheduled my first appt with an OBGYN...
I met with her, and she seemed like a really nice lady... and all... but once she explained to me how her office worked (i would get seen by 3-4 different doctors, and would have my baby delievered by one of those 3-4)... that I didnt like... I wanted it to be ONE doctor that I would see throughout my whole pregnancy.. and that ONE doctor would deliver my baby as well...
It took me 5 months to find that one doctor... and let me tell you, I felt like it was the best decision I could make... I love my new OBGYN... she was more experienced than the other lady... and better to talk to... even tho that pregnancy was soooo smooth... I never felt any morning sickness... not that many cravings.... nothing really too bad that would have made me feel like never wanting to be pregnant again... of coarse I still got those nasty leg cramps... ugh HOW I HATE THOSE!!!!!!!
but not much that I could do...
So then the time went by and now it was just a waiting game... I was still working full time at a bank up until 1 week before I gave birth... and I only stopped because my fiancee had talked me into it.... (but it was good... just because I did need the sleep)
So on May 20th 2009, I went to my weekly follow-up... and as usual my doc, checked to see how dialated I was, only to find out that she BROKE MY WATER... I was in shock! I couldnt believe the day was finally here! I was scared of what I was about to feel, yet I was excited to finally meet this little man that I had been carrying for the past 39 weeks....
So I walked over to the hospital, not feeling much pain at all.... they got me into my room and bed... and I pretty much watched movies from about 11 am till around 7pm... I had been cramping very little up until that time... but then the contractions started getting harder and harder... (I was also being induced) to the point where I was tensing up more and more....
My doctor came in and saw that I was trying to fight the contractions and she adviced me that if I kept on doing that I was going to have to have a C-Section... that was the last thing I wanted... so she told me that I should get the Epidural done, so that it could help me relax... but I didnt want it... I felt like I was cheating myself out of this experience.... but OH MY DID THESE CONTRACTIONS HURT! .... so then I had to choose C-Section (maybe) or Epidural.... so I went with the epidural.... OMG... after I got it done, I didnt feel ANYTHING! it was too the point that I actually fell asleep!
So then I woke up around 11pm... the nurse had just gotten there to check to see how much I had dialated... and I was dialated enough to start pushing already.... I think it was kind of hard for me to push, for the simple fact that the epidural had done what it was ment to do and numb practically my whole lower body... but after about an hour of pushing I delievered my BIG boy... weighing 9lbs and 2oz!
As bad as it sounds, I didnt feel *Love at first sight* with my child... it actually took me a lil while.... but it did feel good to FINALLY be able to hold this big baby outside of my belly...
It was a surreal experience... I couldnt believe that I had created him... (with the help of my fiancee of coarse) :)
But I did not know what to expect from there on....
I will continue with the rest in my next post.........................................
Let me know about your experience when you first held your child for the FIRST time... and how your labor went... and anything else that you would like to share with me....
Love Always!
I still remember the day that I found out I was pregnant... I remember not being able to get out of bed, feeling sooooo EXHAUSTED! I ended up sleeping in that day till past 12pm... when I woke up, I had a feeling that the reason that I was feeling like that was because I was pregnant... but of coarse I wanted to confirm first before telling my fiancee that we were expecting our first child...
Since I was only 20 years old, and live in a small town, I didn't want to go to any of the mom and pop stores here and buy a pregnancy test... so I went to the nearest big city, and went to the Walmart there (they had self check-out lanes) so that no one would see what I was purchasing.... I was sooooo nervous.... So I finally got home and still feeling way to nervous to even take the test... so what did I do? I waited 2 days before I took it...
I finally took it on Sunday Morning... I woke up at around 8am to take it, and I just left it on the counter, and went back to sleep.... When I woke up again at around 10am, I saw, what in my heart already knew... TWO PINK LINES.... but I doubted that it was correct... so I took yet another test... and this time only waited the 3 minutes to find out the result... but I didn't have to wait that long... before I even put the test down, I could see that second line developing.....
Now the hardest part... to tell my fiancee that we were expecting....
That weekend he was out with his friends at a bachelor party... (I trust him :)) and well he was supposed to be back till late Monday night.... but I couldn't wait another day to tell him... so that Sunday night... I gave him a call and I let him know... HE COULD NOT BELIEVE IT... he was sooo happy that he was gonna be a DAD (he is 14 years older than me.. never been married.. and having his first child) ...
I was hoping I could have done it a little bit better (giving him the big news) but I just couldn't keep that from him any longer.... :)
So when he got back we went to a doctor to get it confirmed (once again) that I was pregnant.... and of coarse I was....
There I scheduled my first appt with an OBGYN...
I met with her, and she seemed like a really nice lady... and all... but once she explained to me how her office worked (i would get seen by 3-4 different doctors, and would have my baby delievered by one of those 3-4)... that I didnt like... I wanted it to be ONE doctor that I would see throughout my whole pregnancy.. and that ONE doctor would deliver my baby as well...
It took me 5 months to find that one doctor... and let me tell you, I felt like it was the best decision I could make... I love my new OBGYN... she was more experienced than the other lady... and better to talk to... even tho that pregnancy was soooo smooth... I never felt any morning sickness... not that many cravings.... nothing really too bad that would have made me feel like never wanting to be pregnant again... of coarse I still got those nasty leg cramps... ugh HOW I HATE THOSE!!!!!!!
but not much that I could do...
So then the time went by and now it was just a waiting game... I was still working full time at a bank up until 1 week before I gave birth... and I only stopped because my fiancee had talked me into it.... (but it was good... just because I did need the sleep)
So on May 20th 2009, I went to my weekly follow-up... and as usual my doc, checked to see how dialated I was, only to find out that she BROKE MY WATER... I was in shock! I couldnt believe the day was finally here! I was scared of what I was about to feel, yet I was excited to finally meet this little man that I had been carrying for the past 39 weeks....
So I walked over to the hospital, not feeling much pain at all.... they got me into my room and bed... and I pretty much watched movies from about 11 am till around 7pm... I had been cramping very little up until that time... but then the contractions started getting harder and harder... (I was also being induced) to the point where I was tensing up more and more....
My doctor came in and saw that I was trying to fight the contractions and she adviced me that if I kept on doing that I was going to have to have a C-Section... that was the last thing I wanted... so she told me that I should get the Epidural done, so that it could help me relax... but I didnt want it... I felt like I was cheating myself out of this experience.... but OH MY DID THESE CONTRACTIONS HURT! .... so then I had to choose C-Section (maybe) or Epidural.... so I went with the epidural.... OMG... after I got it done, I didnt feel ANYTHING! it was too the point that I actually fell asleep!
So then I woke up around 11pm... the nurse had just gotten there to check to see how much I had dialated... and I was dialated enough to start pushing already.... I think it was kind of hard for me to push, for the simple fact that the epidural had done what it was ment to do and numb practically my whole lower body... but after about an hour of pushing I delievered my BIG boy... weighing 9lbs and 2oz!
As bad as it sounds, I didnt feel *Love at first sight* with my child... it actually took me a lil while.... but it did feel good to FINALLY be able to hold this big baby outside of my belly...
It was a surreal experience... I couldnt believe that I had created him... (with the help of my fiancee of coarse) :)
But I did not know what to expect from there on....
I will continue with the rest in my next post.........................................
Let me know about your experience when you first held your child for the FIRST time... and how your labor went... and anything else that you would like to share with me....
Love Always!
First Pooossst! :)
Hey all mammazz out there!
Well this is the first time for me writing in my blog.... let me tell you a little bit about myself... I am currently 22 years old, (going on 23) , I am married to the most wonderful man since August 2009, I have an amazing son (Temito) who is currently 1 yr and 8 months... AND I am expecting my 2nd child this June.... :) I am working part-time with my husband at his agency, but mostly I am a stay at home mom (and I love it) :)
I have decided to start this blog, so that I can share my experiences of pregnancy (all of its UPS ans DOWNS), and of being a mommy.. Because there are times in life when not everything is sooo peachy, and we feel soo alone, when in reality, we are not....
So I do hope all of you will join me in my journey of life, and that you can alow me to do the same with you....
Love always......
Well this is the first time for me writing in my blog.... let me tell you a little bit about myself... I am currently 22 years old, (going on 23) , I am married to the most wonderful man since August 2009, I have an amazing son (Temito) who is currently 1 yr and 8 months... AND I am expecting my 2nd child this June.... :) I am working part-time with my husband at his agency, but mostly I am a stay at home mom (and I love it) :)
I have decided to start this blog, so that I can share my experiences of pregnancy (all of its UPS ans DOWNS), and of being a mommy.. Because there are times in life when not everything is sooo peachy, and we feel soo alone, when in reality, we are not....
So I do hope all of you will join me in my journey of life, and that you can alow me to do the same with you....
Love always......
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